


Pining and Presents

by tansybells



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Canon Compliant, Christmas Fluff, F/F, Marianne von Edmund Needs A Hug, Pining Marianne, Post-Heroes Holiday Banner 2020, Pre-Timeskip | Academy Phase (Fire Emblem: Three Houses)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-29
Updated: 2020-12-29
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:40:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28413303
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tansybells/pseuds/tansybells
Summary: When Hilda comes back from a holiday festival bearing fantastic gifts and incredible stories, Marianne realizes that Hilda loves her—just not in the way she longs for.
Relationships: Marianne von Edmund/Hilda Valentine Goneril
Comments: 7
Kudos: 38





	Pining and Presents

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AllArt](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AllArt/gifts).



> Inspired by Hilda being in this year's holiday banner. (Marianne in FE:H when??)

Marianne sighed as she rhythmically rapped the tips of her fingers against the wood of her desk. She should have been working on homework. She had an essay due soon. But nothing felt more appealing than laying with her cheek against her desk, so that’s what she did.

How long had it been now? A week? Two? Three? Ever since Hilda had been pulled away from the Officer’s Academy to help with some sort of holiday festival, Marianne had felt hopelessly listless and aimless. It wasn’t that she wasn’t friends with anyone else, no—she did have her classmates, as well as Dorte—but no one felt as near and dear to her heart as Hilda was.

And it wasn’t even as though Hilda was the only one who had been called away. Bernadetta and Felix had also been chosen for the task, and while Marianne _knew_ it wasn’t anything personal, she couldn’t help but feel left behind by the choice. It _felt_ intentional, and in those moments where she couldn’t differentiate between intentional slights and imagined ones, nothing hurt more.

Two weeks without Hilda was two weeks too many. 

Her misery was interrupted when a knock came from her door, and Lysithea’s sharp voice followed soon after.

“Marianne? Are you awake?” her younger classmate demanded.

Marianne’s head jerked up off of the desk with a start. She had been attending Garreg Mach long enough to logically be aware of the fact that Lysithea’s curtness wasn’t _really_ directed her way—at least, not usually—but it was difficult for her to actually _believe_ it. Much less react accordingly.

“I’m sorry!” she squeaked. “I’m up!”

“Good.” She could hear Lysithea’s gruff satisfaction, even through the door. “Claude has some sort of announcement for us. And before you ask: no, we can’t skip.” 

Lysithea grumbled something else, though Marianne couldn’t exactly make out anything but “…—aste of time…”

“I’ll—I’ll be there in a second!” Marianne yelped as she hurried to her feet. Her chair fell out from behind her with the momentum of her movement, landing on the floor with a loud clatter, and she cringed at the sound.

“Are you okay in there?” Lysithea asked, and Marianne felt her fragile ego wither away as she imagined Lysithea’s petulant expression. She had to be _so_ frustrated to have to deal with Marianne, of all people, and Marianne’s mistakes certainly weren’t making the situation any smoother for her.

“Y-yes, I’m alright.” Marianne grimaced and, ignoring the fallen chair, she scurried to her bedroom door. She pulled it open with an apologetic smile in return for Lysithea’s efforts, but to her dismay, Lysithea seemed just as put-out as she’d expected her to be. “Um, thanks for getting me.”

“It’s nothing,” Lysithea replied, swiveling on the toe of her shoe to walk towards the stairwell that would let them out closest to the classrooms. “Claude was busy rounding everyone else up, anyway.”

Marianne hurried to keep pace with her younger classmate. Despite being so much shorter, Lysithea walked much faster than Marianne was used to, like she had a plan in mind that Marianne was too inept to understand. But Marianne didn’t complain; she didn’t want to make Lysithea even crosser with her than she probably already was. “What did he say was going on?”

“He didn’t say.”

“Oh.”

Their footsteps echoed throughout the stone stairwell as they walked, the sounds amplified by Marianne’s awkwardness and her reluctance to upset Lysithea with her ridiculous attempts at conversation. Marianne wrung her hands in desperation.

Things were so much _easier_ when Hilda was around! Her friend talked so much that she more than made up for Marianne’s unease around her fellow students. And while she definitely got frustrated with Marianne’s usual ineptitude at times, she was never _mean_ about it. She just… always put Marianne on the right track with a laugh, a smile, and a bit of dramatics, then expected her to do better the next time. But even when Marianne failed at that, Hilda always reassured her that she was more than her failures.

And it wasn’t that she _disliked_ Lysithea! Lysithea just did everything right the first time, and that put them on such different levels that Marianne didn’t think she’d ever manage to shake off the intimidation that filled her every time she saw those bright, pale pink eyes or that shock of stark white hair. 

At the beginning of the school year, Hilda had scared her just as much. Hilda, though, had come down to Marianne’s level, and something about that easy companionship that she’d brought with her filled Marianne with such longing that it was nearly too much to bear.

“You’re gloomier than normal today,” Lysithea commented, off-handedly, from beside her. Marianne shook her head.

She just… missed Hilda. How could she explain that in a way that didn’t sound pitiful?

When they got closer to the Golden Deer classroom, Marianne noticed that all of their classmates had already beat them there. Claude leaned against the closed double-doors, his arms crossed over his chest and one foot propped up against a door as he chatted easily with Leonie. Right by him, Lorenz and Ignatz were passionately discussing... something, while Raphael loomed over them and laughed heartily.

“I found Marianne!” Lysithea announced, and five pairs of eyes turned Marianne’s way. Automatically, she shrunk away from their critical gaze and, hugging herself close, she turned her own attention to the nearby courtyard.

“Great!” Leonie waved them over, then turned a smarmy grin on their class leader. “That means Claude can finally give us that announcement he’s been so cryptic about this whole time, huh?”

“I haven’t been _cryptic,_ ” Claude laughed, “I just wanted to tell everyone at once. That’s not so weird, is it?”

“Shouldn’t we wait for the Professor to get here?” Lorenz interjected. “If it’s such an important announcement, that is.” 

Marianne found herself nodding in agreement.

Claude waved off Lorenz’ concern with a shake of his head. “Nah, Teach already knows all about it. We were both there when it happened, and now she’s busy running errands for Seteth. It’s not _that_ important, anyway—”

“— _Some_ of us have other things to be doing, Claude,” Lysithea said. “Let’s get it over with already!”

“Ah-bup-bup-bup.” Claude waggled a finger at Lysithea. “Patience, little one. All in good time.”

Lysithea bore her teeth at him, and Marianne got the feeling that if given the chance, her classmate would lunge at him and tear him apart. Verbally, at least, if not physically.

“Actually, Claude,” Marianne spoke up, hoping to avoid any possible fights in the courtyard. Claude raised a brow, and she stammered on, “I, um, I need to work on a paper, so if you can go ahead and say it, that would be—”

“Okay, okay. I get it!”Claude held his hands up in a show of submission, standing up straighter. “Just give me a second, you guys, and I’ll show you what’s up.”

Turning around to face the doors to the classroom, Claude fiddled with the handles. Marianne leaned to the side, trying to see just what he was doing, but all she could catch was the movement of his hands. She couldn’t actually remember whether the doors had ever been locked before, but she supposed it made sense that they could be.

“And without further ado…” Claude threw the doors open dramatically. “I give you the surprise of a lifetime!”

“Uh, Claude?” Leonie peered in past him, and Marianne took a step forward so that she could see into the classroom as well.

There wasn’t anything new to see. If anything, it looked exactly the same as it always did. Two columns of desks led up to the Professor’s podium at the front of the room, and a comforting warmth emanated from the roaring fireplace. Marianne couldn’t wait for Claude to step out of the way so that she could step out of the cold courtyard and into the heated classroom, but she couldn’t bring herself to barrel past him. Why in the world would he be so secretive about the classroom when there was nothing different about it?

Voicing Marianne’s own concerns, Leonie continued, “There’s nothing—”

“Surprise!”

Plumes of confetti burst out from behind the podium. Colorful ribbons and paper snowflakes drifted lazily through the air. The scents of peppermint and cookies filled the room, mingling together, but in the middle, standing proudly on the podium as she held an empty container of confetti, was the greatest surprise of all:

Hilda.

Marianne’s hands flew up to cover her gasp of surprise, even as everyone else surged around her, rushing into the classroom to greet their absentee friend. Even while Raphael and Ignatz and Leonie crushed Hilda in their embraces, one after the other, Marianne could only whisper Hilda’s name into her hands like it was some sort of clue to the meaning of life itself, her mind reeling.

“Do you want to go say hi?” Claude teased from beside her, and Marianne jumped at the unexpected closeness of his voice. “You’re allowed to, you know.”

From her place at the door, Marianne looked across to where Hilda stood, surrounded by friends, all of them laughing and chattering away happily. Every few moments, Hilda pulled out a colorfully wrapped present from behind the podium and handed it to a classmate, who reacted with joy and surprise.

“I don’t—um... I don’t think I’d be much fun over there,” Marianne murmured, glancing away from Claude and his piercing gaze. He made her uncomfortable sometimes, the way he seemed to see everything that went on around him, and the fact that he had decided to extend that talent towards Marianne made her worry that there was more to her feelings for Hilda than Marianne properly understood.

Shaking her head, she continued, “They’re so happy, and they’re… I, uh, I’d just make everyone feel sad.”

“Don’t be silly!” Claude laughed. Marianne pressed her lips together and tried to shrink away from him, even as he wrapped one arm around her shoulders in a friendly embrace. “Listen, you’re one of Hilda’s friends, aren’t you?”

“I, um—”

“Right, you are.” He squeezed Marianne lightly. “Really, Marianne, I think Hilda would be more sad if you didn’t go give her a hug. She’s emotional like that, you know, and if you ask me, she’s got a particularly soft spot for a certain blue-haired classmate.”

Marianne gaped at him, incredulous, but Claude just looked straight ahead towards Hilda and her friends. “Go say hi,” he repeated, his voice kind and gentle. “She’ll think something’s wrong if you don’t.”

He patted her shoulder. Marianne took a deep breath, and stepped forward into the classroom.

Almost immediately, it felt like there was a shift in the room. Obviously, it was warmer in the classroom than it was outside, but it was more than that, something more subtle, and maybe more powerful. As soon as Hilda noticed Marianne, her smile grew wider. Her eyes became brighter, and she reached for Marianne with an outstretched hand.

“Mari!” she called from among the throng of classmates, who had begun to move around, dispersing throughout the classroom with their gifts to unwrap them and celebrate Hilda’s return. “Marianne, get over here! I’ve got a present for you!” 

Picking up another package from the podium, she waved it high for Marianne to see. Marianne blushed at Hilda’s enthusiasm, and once she got close enough, Hilda leapt forward to wrap her arms solidly around Marianne’s midsection.

“Oh my gosh, I missed you _so_ much!” Hilda said with a smile that felt specially reserved just for Marianne. The only thing that kept Marianne from covering her rapidly heating cheeks with her hands was the way Hilda’s hug kept her arms pinned against her sides. “You wouldn’t _believe_ the stuff that happened while I was doing the festival thing!”

“I—I’m sure I wouldn’t,” Marianne said, but Hilda seemed determined to prove her own point and chattered on.

“So, turns out, Felix looks like, _really_ silly in white and red—not like me and Bernie, no, we both looked _amazing_ —and you should have _seen_ how cute I was!”

“You’re cute all the time,” Marianne murmured. Once again, however, Hilda was too busy talking to actually hear her.

“I had this _huge_ candy cane—” Hilda finally released Marianne from her crushing embrace, if only to demonstrate to Marianne just _how_ big the sweet had been, “—and this _itty-bitty_ fur-trimmed hat. And Bernadetta had this adorable little stuffed hedgehog! It wasn’t _that_ little, actually—”

Marianne didn’t notice the exact moment that she started tuning out Hilda’s excitement. She loved Hilda, of course, and she adored Hilda’s enthusiasm for the things she loved, but sometimes Hilda’s energy was a little too much for her to take on all at once. So she smiled and nodded as necessary, _ooh_ -ed and _ahh-_ ed when appropriate, and tried to not dwell on the way her chest tightened at Hilda’s smile. 

“—ianne?”

Marianne blinked rapidly in an attempt to bring herself back to the present, only to see Hilda waggling her fingers in front of her face. “Marianne, are you still in there?”

“Wh—what is it?” Marianne asked, flustered. “Did you need something?”

“No, no!” Hilda giggled. “I just wanted to know if you’re ready for your present!”

Marianne opened her mouth, then closed it. Bashfully, she looked away. “I don’t really need a present,” she said, but Hilda just laughed her off.

“Oh, come _on,_ Mari! I picked this one out, just for you. And just between you and me—” She leaned in close to Marianne and lowered her voice conspiratorially, “I meant to get back earlier, but I had to, like, pick this one out perfectly. So,” she jostled Marianne’s side as she held her enticingly wrapped present out for Marianne to take, “consider yourself special.”

Marianne couldn’t bring herself to say anything. Truly, she didn’t know if she _could_ say anything through the emotions that clogged up her throat. She clutched Hilda’s present close to her heart.

She simply smiled, and she hoped that the joy and thankfulness that she felt for Hilda’s presence in her life was strong enough to shine through without words.

When Hilda smiled back, though, just as affectionate as always, Marianne felt a longing that she hadn’t been anticipating. Her heart ached. Her breath stopped. And she knew it was selfish of her, to think that there was any possibility that Hilda’s smiles could be saved just for her, but there was such a delight to Hilda’s expression, such joy in her eyes that she couldn’t deny herself the singular thought of—

_What if?_

Marianne turned Hilda’s present over in her trembling hands. She couldn’t risk losing her dearest friend. As it was now, though, she was special to Hilda. And that would have to suffice.

“Thank you, Hilda,” she whispered, to which Hilda happily laughed and hugged her again.

“Well, duh! Only the best for my bestie.” And then, as if her present hadn’t been enough already, Hilda pulled Marianne in and swiftly pressed a friendly kiss to Marianne’s cheek.

Marianne gasped. Her hand flew up to press against the point where Hilda’s lips had touched her skin. Drawing away, Hilda winked at her cheerfully. “Make sure to tell me how much you love your present later!” she sang, as she danced over to rejoin their classmates.

“I—I will,” Marianne breathed, when in truth, the wrapped present that she held in her hands had been all but forgotten in the face of Hilda’s kiss. 

It was a few moments before she managed to drag her gaze away from Hilda’s brilliance, before she slid into one of the empty chairs that accompanied a desk. Gingerly, she set Hilda’s present down before her, and careful to draw on the ribbons that secured the packaging as slowly as possible, she unwrapped the gift. Paper crinkled as it fell down from around the figure held within, and Marianne gasped as she saw what Hilda had prepared for her. 

Hilda had told her that she’d had to pick something out as her gift. But as Marianne marveled over the pink stuffed bear, she couldn’t help but feel that perhaps Hilda had gone so far as to actually craft the sweet toy by hand. It smelled of strawberries, somehow, and when Marianne picked the bear up and cradled it much like she would hold a beloved child, affection wrapped around her heart and warmed her from within. 

Blushing, she glanced back up to Hilda, who was happily chattering away with Lorenz and Leonie. Hilda seemed to notice her, though, and she accompanied her smile for Marianne with a little flutter of her fingers. 

_“Thank you,”_ Marianne mouthed, to which Hilda threw her a thumbs-up before returning to her conversation. 

With a sigh, Marianne hugged the bear closer and closed her eyes. The sweet scent of perfumed strawberries enveloped her, and she settled her beating heart with the knowledge that while Hilda could never be hers, she would be _there._ And as long as she could count on that, it would be enough.

**Author's Note:**

> My endless gratitude to [Lily](https://twitter.com/spiderlilywrite) for her editing work; it's been a while since I've been able to sit down and write (yay holidays at retail) so she had more work than usual to do. 
> 
> And what's more, thanks to AllArt for your constant support. Even when there's a piece that I feel unsure about, you usually show up and point out something to be proud of. I really appreciate your presence here, and I can't thank you enough. I was delighted to get to write this for you. Thanks for everything ♥


End file.
